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📘 SBQ Book – The Courage to Be Disliked Summary

Title: The Courage to Be Disliked
Authors: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
Origin: Japan (based on the psychology of Alfred Adler)
SBQ often stands for Short Book Quotes or Summary by Questions, which suits the format of this book perfectly—it’s written as a dialogue between a philosopher and a youth.

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🧠 Core Concept

The book is based on Adlerian psychology, which differs from Freud and Jung by emphasizing:

• Free will over determinism

• The present over the past

• Goals over causes

💡 The central idea: You can change your life right now by changing how you think, regardless of past trauma or other people's opinions.

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📋 Key Ideas (SBQ-style)

Q	A (Summary)
Why do people feel unhappy?	Because they choose to be unhappy to avoid taking responsibility or making changes.
Can trauma determine your life?	No. It’s not the trauma itself, but how you interpret and use it.
What’s the cause of most interpersonal problems?	Seeking recognition and trying to be liked by others.
What is the “courage to be disliked”?	The strength to live authentically, without needing approval from others.
How should we see relationships?	As horizontal (equal) rather than vertical (dominance). No one is above or below you.
What is the role of life tasks?	We all must face three life tasks: Work, Friendship, and Love. Avoiding them leads to suffering.
How do you gain freedom?	By separating your tasks from others' tasks. Don’t interfere, and don’t let others control you.
Is competition harmful?	Yes. Adler says competition breeds comparison, insecurity, and isolation. Life is not a race.
What is true contribution?	Living with the spirit of “I contribute to others”, not “I must be useful to be worthy.”
What does happiness mean?	Happiness comes from a sense of community feeling—knowing you belong and are valuable as you are.

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🔑 Important Quotes

1. “Freedom is being disliked by other people.”

2. “You are not the center of the world—and that’s a relief.”

3. “All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.”

4. “The past does not matter. You are the one who decides your life.”

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✨ Why It's Powerful

• Challenges victim mentality

• Encourages radical personal responsibility

• Combines philosophy + psychology + self-help

• Gives practical tools for better relationships and inner peace

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✅ Takeaway Message

To live freely and meaningfully, you must have the courage to be disliked—to be true to yourself, even if it means losing approval. That’s where real happiness and strength begin.

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Would you like:

• A chapter-wise breakdown?

• A printable PDF summary?

• Daily reflection prompts based on this book?