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Nirvakalpa Samadhi, or more accurately, Sahaja Samadhi, is the normal state.
The ‘state’ you appeared to be in prior is the totally occluded, unaware, chained-and-enslaved-to-the-illusion state.
It is the false dream-of-separateness. The erroneous deception about the life of a ‘separate self,’ that does not exist. It can often be a nightmare.
If you were having a nightmare last night, and you woke up to your true nature in bliss, would you really want to return to the terrible dream, even if others called it the ‘normal’ state?
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The butterfly laments the loss of the chrysalis, until its wings dry and it tastes flight.
For the Unbounded, there is no capture.
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Ramana Maharshi often went to samadhi state and he was often unaware of this world. Sometimes his devotees must “wake up him” when it was time to eat. Lately he said his state, regardless how others saw him, was always the same. He was always aware of the Self which he realizes at the age of 16.
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Just because we prefer one state over another, or experience another state that feels more authentic to the infinite part of ourselves doesn’t invalidate the state experienced in form. Even Ramana slowly by slowly reemerged and occupied the form. Both and all states are experienced from Turia. The state isn’t reality, what is experiencing the states is reality.
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We are the infinite and the finite. We are the dream and the nightmare. Holding a preference is illusion. Once the infinite is realized it requires admission of the finite to properly animate the form again.
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There is only one. Only being. True. Which appears in many ways including the finite form that carries with it an ego. Ego death happens but it is not permanent. Anyone who thinks so is simply believing that is true and has not experienced it or has taken on a new ego and cannot see through it. Ego will always be there to see through. It’s only when it appears to disappear that there is trouble.
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The One Being appears to take forms and, at least in the ‘human’ form, carries with it an ego and a body-mind that never fully disappears.
I would also agree that holding a preference for a no-ego ‘state’ over an egoic one is just more egoism, a kind of spiritual materialism.
It’s only that “we” have absolutely no agency over either of those ‘states,’ or over ‘realizing’ That which is experiencing the states (the underlying Reality.)
there is no ‘requirement’ that the ‘form’ get properly animated again. It’s totally fine if that be just the end of that form.
But even if that were true. the unassailable fact that “we” have absolutely no control over either, over whether the infinite will ever get ‘realized’ through the finite, or whether form will ever re-animated again, is why I stressed the no-“we” over the recognition of the finite ego. 99% of the finite human forms on Earth already fully identify as a finite form and enjoy it as best they can. So that part is already well-integrated. What is rare is lasting recognition of the formless.
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when realization occurred, the ego fell away. It was not a pleasant experience, or not solely a pleasant experience. I clung to the infinite sense of self. It took a long time for me to allow the ego to reroot itself and grow in an authentic way that was more in tune with my understandings. I feel strongly that realization of self, for me, was just the beginning of realization of truth. And to embody it, I needed to allow an ego to blossom under my watchful gaze. Seen through as an aspect of self, but still necessary in order to relate and move in the world. Hold down a job, and all the things necessary for basic existence at the human level. Realization is easy. Embodiment of that realization is truly hard work. One does need to admit and take responsibility for the finite self, and recognize it as a relevant aspect of self. From the finite, the infinite appears false. From the infinite the finite appears false. In my view, both are simply appearances. Both are real at their level of being.
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