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LEAVING THE PLAY
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Does Buddhism make you a calmer person?
Oh dear, that's a terrible post title. Let me explain.
I'm looking into secular Buddhism. I don't yet know any other specifics. I understand that "Buddhism" is a catch-all term for a variety of practices.
I'm interested for many reasons, such as working diligently to cultivate a compassionate mindset. I expect to delve deeply into study, to be committed, and to try to live authentically. I don't expect this to be easy. I expect it to be a lifelong practice. I'd never stop learning and working on myself.
I'm wondering if it might make me less anxiety-ridden.
My PTSD controls my life. I'm constantly on edge. I can't escape my online trolls/abusers. They follow me from platform to platform. I can't control their bad behavior. All I can do is try to keep my anxiety, anger, and urges for retribution under control.
I don't see Buddhism as a fluffy feel-good escapist panacea. Quite the opposite.
I'm not expecting it to solve my problems. I'm not expecting it to heal my PTSD. All I'm hoping for is the ability to cope with my anxiety and my anger more effectively by cultivating a calmer way of thinking. (Mindfulness meditation isn't helpful. I have tried many, many different things.)
Would you say that your Buddhist practice has made you calmer, more peaceful? Is there anything else you'd like to add?
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From my practice as a Zen Buddhist, it has made me more compassionate, less anxious, and a whole lot calmer than I used to be. Any time I would get upset, I wouldn’t necessarily lash out, but I would get really angry and mean. But my practice has come to teach me the importance of showing compassion so that maybe one day I can realize my true nature. And for the anxiety part, I used to have really bad social anxiety along with anxiety in my relationship, but by practicing consistent meditation and self-reflection, I have come to understand that bad things will happen and so will good, but I cannot control the bad. One thing I would try starting off is, first of all, to understand the 4 noble truths and accept them as completely true. I do not mean blindly expecting; I mean relating them to your life and seeing how much they actually make sense. After that, of course, go to the middle path and memorize it completely. And when you make a decision or find something that might set you off or make you anxious, think back to the path and try to come up with the best decision that won’t affect your karma. One thing that really worked for me though was understanding Buddha nature: everyone and everything is connected, so when you harm another, you are only harming yourself. But as anything goes, this is what worked for me, so find what works for you and develop your own understanding. Good luck on your path, my friend.
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Zen pretty much focuses on direct experience. By this I mean meditation and learning from a teacher. They also have a very specific meditation called zazen which means “to sit” and is very different than any other meditation I’ve heard of. And no Theravada Buddhism is not a part of Mahayana which is the sect that Zen falls under. All Mahayana schools have a big focus on compassion and the Bodhisattva path.
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Well first off, Buddhism is not a “catch-all term for a variety of practices”. Buddhism is a way to live with many different ways to practice. And the title of your post is actually ok. The answer is yes. If you believe the tenets of Buddhism and you sincerely practice in your chosen school of Buddhism…. it won’t “make you “ …. but you will become a calmer person. And it can help you with everything in your life. I’m new to it - I am 6 years old. Anger is what drove me to look for help. Buddhism was presented to me, unbidden. For the 4th time in my 74 years. This time I said “yes”! Anger was the first thing that I changed. No , second. First was abandoning my plan to end it all when the collapse comes. I have never been more at peace in my entire life. I don’t know what could be secular about Buddhism. There is no ‘God’ concept in Buddhism. So, what is there to be secular from? There is no formal school of it called ‘Secular Buddhism’, that I’ve ever heard of. Does that mean not interested in seeking enlightenment? Yes, anyone can live a better, happier life by adopting the teachings of “try to do good, definitely don’t cause harm”. But, what’s the harm in enlightenment along the way? The biggest impetus for me to get rid of anger is my belief in karma and the law of rebirth. Every instance of anger is a bit of negative karma…. which must be paid back sometime.
But that won’t help you if you don’t believe in it. Maybe just the admonition not to cause harm can work for you. All anger causes harm, if only to ourselves. Please do study Buddhism… only good can come of that. If you want the full benefits of it in your life…. consider it more deeply and go for it. Wholeheartedly not secularly. Try it you’ll like it
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B CALM
Here’s why: It’s only natural to get angry if someone is being hurtful. It’s good even. Because it helps us care about others. But clinging and obsessing about it becomes a problem. If a dude slaps me in the face, it will most likely feel unpleasant. ”Calmness” is when you respond emotionally to the world but do not cling to said emotions. If I hear a funny joke I will go ”haha” but it will not keep me awake at night.
The things that stress us out are mostly thoughts racing around about bad stuff in the past or potentially bad stuff in the future. Practice is a way to snap out of it and realize that thoughts like that is as illusory as worrying about why Donald Duck has no pants. It’s simply not real.
Practice works. Period. It just takes time. Just as taking up jogging works. It just takes time. Practice helps us snap out of it and live in the vast expanse of the present moment, not in mental constructions. When you find yourself snapping out of it, it feels like coming home. And yes, that will make you calmer. But you will still get angry! And sad! But it will pass more quickly. This is calmness.
Also — if you find traditional seated meditation is not your thing, try walking meditation. Or Tai Chi, or Yoga. It can serve similar purposes. Then, when your mind has settled a bit, try meditation again. It works, it just takes time.
Thank you for sharing. The topic is very real and relevant. I think most people on the planet wants to be calmer but simply has the odds against them.
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B BRAHMANA GIFT STORY OF ANGER
You are doing something noble in buddha's eyes by tolerating insults and trolls -
Once the Blessed One was staying at Rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove near the Squirrels' Feeding Place. Now the brahman Akkosa Bharadvaja heard this: "The brahman Bharadvaja, it seems, has become a monk under the Great Monk Gotama." Angry and unhappy, he went to where the Blessed One was. Having approached the Blessed One, he abused and criticized the Blessed One in foul and harsh words. Thus reviled, the Blessed One spoke to the brahman Akkosa Bharadvaja: 'Well, brahman, do friends, confidants, relatives, kinsmen and guests visit you?"
"Yes, Gotama, sometimes friends, confidants, relatives, kinsmen and guests do visit me."
"Well, brahman, do you not offer them snacks or food or tidbits?"
"Yes, Gotama, sometimes I do offer them snacks or food or tidbits."
"But if, brahman, they do not accept it, who gets it?"
"If Gotama, they do not accept it, I get it back."
"Even so, brahman, you are abusing us who do not abuse, you are angry with us who do not get angry, you are quarreling with us who do not quarrel. All this of yours we don't accept. You alone, brahman, get it back; all this, brahman, belongs to you.
"When, brahman, one abuses back when abused, repays anger in kind, and quarrels back when quarreled with, this is called, brahman, associating with each other and exchanging mutually. This association and mutual exchange we do not engage in. Therefore you alone, brahman, get it back; all this, brahman, belongs to you."
"People, including the king, know the Venerable Gotama thus: 'The Monk Gotama is the Worthy One.' When does the Venerable Gotama become angry?"
Said the Buddha:
"Where is anger for one freed from anger, Who is subdued and lives perfectly equanimous, Who truly knowing is wholly freed, Supremely tranquil and equipoised? He who repays an angry man in kind Is worse than the angry man; Who does not repay anger in kind, He alone wins the battle hard to win. He promotes the weal of both, His own, as well as of the other. Knowing that the other man is angry, He mindfully maintains his peace And endures the anger of both, His own, as well as of the other, Even if the people ignorant of true wisdom Consider him a fool thereby."
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