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Learning to Cry: Why Our Tears Matter by Benjamin Perry is a 2025 exploration of the science, culture, and power of crying. The author, a journalist and queer progressive Christian minister, embarked on an experiment to cry every day after realizing he hadn’t shed a tear in over a decade. The memoir investigates how tears shape our emotional lives, relationships, and even social movements .
🔍 Key Themes & Quotes
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Personal Reawakening
Perry writes of how he “hadn’t cried for 12 years,” and began a personal journey to rediscover what weeping has to offer (shelf-awareness.com). -
Tears as Connection
“Our lacrimation doesn’t just help us communicate; it whispers secrets about ourselves—our fervent hopes and aching longing.”
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Highlights the emotional transparency and depth in crying (shelf-awareness.com).
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Cultural Restrictions
The book examines how gender, race, and societal norms influence who is allowed to cry and when—unpacking expectations and silencing in modern culture (shelf-awareness.com). -
Crying as Protest
A fascinating argument: Gen Z tears—emotional public expressions—challenge norms rooted in capitalist, white American contexts and may hold revolutionary potential (shelf-awareness.com). -
Spiritual & Activist Dimensions
Drawing on his ministry background, Perry includes a closing piece called “A Blessing for Crying”—inviting tears as a source of healing and solidarity (shelf-awareness.com).
📚 Why It's Worth Reading
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Bridges psychology, history, and spirituality in a warm, accessible voice.
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Offers fresh perspectives on vulnerability, emotion, and identity.
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Makes the case that reclaiming tears can both heal individuals and resist cultural repression.
📖 Sample Quotes for Sharing
“I hadn’t cried for 12 years.”
He begins by recounting a decade-long emotional drought and the awakening that followed (goodreadingmagazine.com.au, shelf-awareness.com).
“Our lacrimation…whispers secrets about ourselves…”
A poetic line capturing the deep internal truths tears reveal (shelf-awareness.com).
Would you like more quotes—perhaps on his ministry take, or reflections from fiction and literature he references? Or if you're interested in specific passages or deeper discussion on any theme, I'm happy to dive in!
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