I try to help people so much that I think I've developed the a Messiah complex. I thought it was my destiny to save the world from ignorance and it's made me incredible arrogant and conceited, and I push people away, criticizing every aspect of them and labeling them ignorant and beneath me in my mind. When I started to explore Buddhism, I had this dream of becoming president and I sincerely believed that I would, and I'd teach the world morality, the power of objective reasoning and meditation, and the power of compassion. I sincerely believed that I can solve the isreali-palestinian crisis, where there was so much hate towards each other, and most of the world's problems with these lessons. It feels almost comical me actually saying that (or writing it) out loud. And as for Buddhism, I started with the bare basics from online lessons, but I made it my own eventually and labeled my conclusions as Buddhist answers, with the ethos that that contains, but they were really my own egoic answers. Eventually I realized this and then I stopped labeling it Buddhist but I didn't stop making up my own morality lessons.
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