complicated self sabtage
"When I learned the value of Discipline, the Willpower grew stronger. It was all the power I needed. The bingeing stopped, because, in my new wisdom, I saw the power of will as stronger than the power of rebellion. This rebellion had probably come from my angry past. It doesn’t even matter what part of my past. Eventually, with a little insight, and various practices (that I’m sharing with you in this book), I chose to let go of the need to rebel, because I realised that it was a cycle of victimhood. I over-ate because I was feeling low and I was feeling low because I over-ate. When I was down, I would justify why I had a right to feel like that. The negative stuff that had happened to me was mostly long since passed, but I held on to the pain to justify my overeating. Then I could overeat to escape my pain. Complicated self-sabotage, I know!"
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