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The Reason People Say Things They Later Regret (M)

How to stop yourself saying things you might later regret.

When people are most awake and alert, they are also more likely to give away secrets, new research finds.

People tend to blurt out things they will later regret saying when they are highly aroused — for example, after exercise.

The reason is that being fully alert causes people to say things automatically, without running them past an internal filter.

The research may help to explain some of the oddly personal things people find themselves saying during romantic encounters or job interviews.

Dr Brent Coker, the study’s first author, said:

“Ironically, the times when we’re most awake and alert are also the times when we have to be very careful about what we say—like job interviews, media engagements, important work meetings, or even romantic encounters.”

For one study in a series of three, people were asked to write a dating profile.

The results showed that the more alert people were, the more embarrassing and intimate information they disclosed.

Unfortunately, disclosing too much information made the profiles less attractive when they were judged by others later on.

A second study examined online trolling behaviour and found that people are more likely to say mean or hurtful things when aroused.

A third study found that after physical exercise, which causes higher arousal, people were more likely to disclose personal information.

Dr Coker said:

“Saying the wrong thing in the wrong moment may create awkwardness, be offensive, damage trust, or harm perceptions towards our character.

Politicians and CEOs seem to do it all the time.

We really need to make an extra effort to control what comes out of our mouths during times of stress—which might explain why so many people have arguments over Christmas.”

One way to counter this tendency to blurt out personal information is to control stress levels, said Dr Coker:

“Consciously controlling your breathing and listening to chilled music are two strategies known to work.

Then there are the more traditional strategies such as reducing how much coffee you drink, getting enough sleep and eating well.

As any interrogator will tell you, there are limits to how much stress someone will take before they ‘spill the beans’.

Our research suggests that it actually doesn’t take very much stress at all before people will say something they might later regret.”