what are the best ways to live in the old age when nobody wants to take care of you?
Mike Witlach, former Medical Device Engineer, now retired
Get ready for a really long response.
I’m speaking from personal experience
Well obviously this is not something that you are entirely in control of. Some people have family members and perhaps children who love them and are willing to step in and help when needed - some have virtually no family, are introverts without many friends, and find themselves pretty much alone.
Ideally, this question should be pondered on at least 20 years before - you know, back when we thought we’d live free and healthy forever!
Think about what would make YOU want to care for someone? Either love, a sense of responsibility, or cash will probably be the motivators.
There’s nothing worse than trying to “guilt trip” a child or sibling into taking care of you - they will resent you and do only the minimum to get by. And don’t just assume that if you “tell” them all your life that you plan on living with them that they will just roll over and play dead when that day comes.
There’s an old saying, “if I’d known I would live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself!” The truth of the matter is this - DO take better care of yourself! You may not need the level of care that would be required otherwise. Lose some (a lot!) of weight - and KEEP it off. Take responsibility for yourself, and limit self-destructive lifestyle habits.
Beyond this point, learn to REALLY love and care about other people, if you expect them to be there for you. Try to be an interesting and agreeable person long before the need, not a bully, harsh, or a know-it-all.
Last but probably the most important, you MUST, MUST, make some sort of financial provisions for your old age. Don’t expect anyone else to supply what you YOURSELF should be responsible for; not your kids, family or friends, or even the government; it’s NOT their job to take care of you, although they may be willing to help some.
NOW,,, to address your immediate question, since you may already be there and need the help now.
Assess your current physical, financial, and emotional condition - How much can you do for yourself vs. are absolutely unable to do? How much help can you afford to hire? Can you age in place (assuming you have a place), or do you need a place to live? Many church or parachurch organizations will help to make your home more livable by building ramps, and changing things within the home to assist you. All you have to do is make the need known.
Many communities have volunteers who will bring you meals and come in to check on you several times a week. Also check into your states agency on aging.
If you are a U.S. veteran who was active duty in a time of war, or a spouse of one, you may be eligible for VA Aid and Attendance benefits, which will help either if you are aging in place or if you need to live in a facility, proportionally.
Many religious denominations have homes where people can live for less than a commercial home facility would charge.
Now, if you have some money, be discerning!! There ARE some who will be just after your money! However, there will also be some who just really want to help. I’ve personally known a few, who thought that some people who were really only trying to make their position stable and safe were after their money, only to distrust them and then turn to “old friends” who proceeded to clean them out and leave them penniless. When all else fails, like Reagan said, “Trust,,, but verify”. Have someone who can’t touch the money watching to see what those who DO handle the money do with it!
Most importantly, try to stay engaged with other people, whether it be by church attendance or activities, or a senior center nearby, or just other people in your apartment complex. You’ve got to keep your emotional state positive, and it’s almost impossible to do that in isolation.
Good Luck—-If you are in need of reading this answer, than I am praying for you!!
No comments:
Post a Comment