If we have lost someone who is very close to us and we are grieving her death, we have to look again.
That person still continues somehow. And we can do something to help her to continue more beautifully.
She is still alive, inside us and around us. Looking in this way, we can still recognize her in different
forms, just as we recognize the cloud in our cup of tea. When you drink your cup of tea with mindfulness
and concentration, you understand that the cloud is right there in your tea, very close. You have never lost
your beloved. She has just changed forms.
That is the kind of vision, the kind of insight that is needed to overcome grief. We think that we have lost
him forever, but that person has not died, has not disappeared. He continues in new forms. We have to
practice looking deeply to recognize his continuation and support it. “Darling, I know you are there
somehow, very real to me. I am breathing for you. I am looking around for you. I enjoy life for you. And I
know that you are still there very close to me and you are in me.” We transform our suffering and our fear
into awakened insight, and we feel much better.
When we overcome the notion of birth and death, we stop being controlled by fear. The notion of being
and the notion of nonbeing can create a tremendous amount of fear. When the cloud disappears in the sky,
it does not pass from being to nonbeing—it continues always. The nature of the cloud is no-birth and nodeath. The nature of your beloved is like that, and you are also like that.
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